Thanks D.

Thank you for an interesting tour.  All good.

Cook’s Plethora: Comments & Vampires

Here, some comments on Cook’s Plethora:

“Get a life.  Be happy.  Cooksplethora sux.” Life is gotten at the commencement of the total analysis of succubus trickery.  Being true to the self.  That is true.

“No pictures or links.” The space is written word only.  Making an exception at the bottom of this post.

“Publish comments.” Gentle yet die-hard fans need not exercise fandom here (this plick of a blog).  In reality, the object of derision should be enjoyed in peace.

“Turn off comments.” Am awaiting the comment that humbles.  Am a self-serving author.

“What’s the problem.” Corporate malfeasance is the current problem. David Cook is not a problem.

“David Cook will read this blog and get upset.” He will not read this, therefore he will not read this.

“Lighten up.” Precisely.  Offering the photo as a gesture of peace?  No??  David Cook fans are a gentle menace.

::: As Promised :::

Vampires

How to Get Over David Cook

Don’t get tangled up. This list is for the tiny minority who want out of the time succubus that is David Cook. Intended for those seeking to confirm what they already know. Deep down. Crushed under by that hot affability. Unlike David Cook’s tour mates, Castro, Archuleta and Johns, Mr. Sugar Footloose is starting to show signs of impatience. Public relations quips. TMZ inspired disdain. Diva poking through (like his proud midwestern tummy). To repeat, this is not intended for the DC devoted, but for the small population who want reasons to call it quits:

1. Seek Depth Again – in music. Without the EMO (or MCR, FOB, PAD). Remember indie. In turn, remember Jacob Dylan, Jack White, Thom Yorke, Buckley, Beck and Vamp Weekend. Would like to include Mayer, but he’s too busy oiling himself for right now.

2. Objectify – Yes, David Cook looks good. And so do others: Jacob Dylan. Rob Thomas. Matt Wertz. Jon McLaughlin. Jason Castro. Ace Young. Andy Skib. Add more…

3. Don’t Let the Tears Hold You – Profoundly moved by ABMB, TWIK, and the finale in part because of the tears? Think pageant. Crown winner weeps. David Cook wept as he earned the crown, the title. We are seized by the talented guy who cries. David Cook worked hard . David Cook won. David Cook cried. That’s it. Think this way. You will realize that it’s not as profound a moment as once thought. He seems to have gotten over it. His words seem dry now.

4. No Bad Boy – Look and see, he’s no bad boy. Wild and free? Fashion shoe endorsements. There’s also something seriously wrong with the scarf belts (see 6). In romance, admittedly dorky. We know and love dorks. We know dorks are doormats in relationships. Allow him to be propelled by outside forces. Allow him to be dominated.

5. Fitty Cent Word – DC takes the word nerd crown very seriously. He tries hard to get in a 2-cent word per interview. Watch interviews again, and see if you don’t want him to just spit it out. Get to the point already. Never mind about gouging the word “perspicacity” into the interview response.

6. Friggin’ Scarves & Accoutrement – Will admit the rubber bracelets can be addicting to wear and can help to spread a message. The scarves, however, are painful (see post on scarves: plate 2). Inexplicably flowing. Indefatigably lame. Adorns neck and arms with various tokens, much like tweens/teens do in hopes that friendship bracelets, charms and cell phone bling surreptitiously call out a hidden identity.

7. He’s Only 25 – What did you know about anything at 25? You see this can go both ways.

8. Prop Withholder – The cover props ended up on the cutting room floor. Midwesterners like to talk straight. How come not this one, and not after BJ? That bothered. Admit it. No excuses. If you won the state fair’s strawberry rhubarb pie finals and the judges were delirious about how your criss-crossed lattice crust-work bespoke genius but you know Mary Anne your next door neighbor who shared the recipe and finish work with you was really the inspiration, as a Midwesterner you interrupt the judges straight. Right then. Right there. And give props.

9. He’s Red, Not Blue – Red in the face about not being blue? Not even. No requisite props to blues greats. Blues rocktitude. To be fair, one might actually have to know how to pull off an impromptu wailing blues riff on guitar to prove just how much inspiration you really got. Jon Bonamassa is entirely capable of wailing. Not sure about Cook.

10. He’s Got an Accent – Surfer dude now. “Stoked” and slurry. Let it be.

11., 12., etc., This spot reserved for you…

Negative? Get a life? Just be happy? Don’t want to prolong what is unfolding before the eyes. Along with the others (word nerds, cougars, cookies) the DC visage stopped this author long enough to troll the fansites endlessly. Perfectly willing to indulge. Yet things were seen, things were noted. The cynic asked questions: How hard is it to vlog on a regular basis like Castro’s Tuesday date nights? Why publicly evade the cougar question? Why not blog for word nerds? Written word? A book list? Anything? Ran out of excuses for the golden one. As a result of an annoying dry spell of media fishing, there was no choice but to examine why impatience was now a condition of life online. And so, the analysis went thusly: A Midwest boy done good. Family. Grounded. Articulate. Easy does it. Self-effacing. Hot. Friggin extended notes yelling voice. David is the guy in teen novels. The hot excellent guy who peered around popularity long enough to realize that it’s what’s inside that counts.  The college guy who took you to your high school prom as a cool favor to your older guy cousin. The same frat guy who knew when things were getting out of control and walked you safely home. That guy, ever the gentleman. No dark side worries with David. Good son. Good brother. Good friend.

Crap...@%$#%@! Read list again. Love the brain in you. If only to re-christen yourself wild and free once more.

The View: Stay Wild & Free

The women represented themselves as sterling members of the “Hollywood Auxiliary” as only the auxiliary can do, and has done. As such, the auxiliary’s bacchanalia (6/24) begat a bored and disinterested DC. One assumes DC is learning to temper the exuberance of the open book persona he likes to profess, and in its place, a plating of annoyance, with a dash of ennui, and finished with a garnish of buffalo stance. Heck, yeah.

Now if only DC would “hang out” with those who take their musicianship seriously.  Sans day jobs with the auxiliary interviewing for TV.  Did this author just go there? Heck, yeah.

It’s all in the name of the emblematic torch. The torch for wildness and freeness. Feckless or reckless, no. Unfettered travels toward discovery of the world he only thinks he knows, heck yes.

Leno2: Success is Dependent on the Sweat Glands

Zig Zigler. Would cycling apparel, that is, poly-dri wicking shirts make DC more inclined to salute the viewers with the guitar flourish (vs the accomplished band mates, and various off-stage woofers and floor monitors)? No one minds, sir, if you decided to unleash the arms. Wetness is a natural thing in the wild, yes?

Leno2: Chris Martin Hops and All That

Hopefully the hops were a delighted reaction to the fan guests and not too much a response to Andy Gibb’s hair apparent on AI. Pleased to report not one idle moment at this appearance, okay Mr. GLIBB? Happy performance. Red velvet cake days ahead if there are more Martinesque hops, lyricism (less ex-girlfriend rants, more ex-ruler/humanity blunder stuff on the album). Dammit if Chris didn’t ask us if we were okay. We were the ruled. Yes, ex-ruler, we are okay…so long as you’re around. Forgive the digression.

Plate 2: Katy Doesn’t Mean You With Your Scarves

Sending this back with a scarf draped over the plate. No, Katy Perry doesn’t infer DC’s scarves are from H&M. Nor does she hint that DC has indie stylings. How would she know what number sunblock is safe for DC? Pretty sure no. But, maybe all the scarves could possibly be left behind inadvertently at each 5-star hotel staying place. Offering the following argument/support for this plate:

1. Undoubtedly DC will have repeat visits to NYC. Flowing scarves are not safe on subways & when getting in/out of taxis.

2. DC is off the hook if a personal stylist ties them on. If indeed it is DC tying or affixing scarves, it is an image that you are entitled to suppress. For that matter, dudes affixing anything onto themselves other than a belt, tie or britches is seriously unhinging. That includes shell necklaces, string necklaces, kerchiefs and yes, dog tags. Dog tags have earned a meaning in our consciousness, yes? Yes.

3. Steven Tyler owns the scarf thing.

Plate 1: Consider Hootie

This plate has to do with what some here have observed on occasion: Some vocals with run-on. As in sentences. Consider the stylings of Hootie lead vocalist: pleasant timbre, nice depth with power. There is a desire, however, for a time-out with the riffs (Hootie starts a song. The note then runs onnnnn). Too much of the good. A break, a halt, in the note is hoped for. If only to better appreciate and, more subtly, anticipate the vocals about to turn. Personally, vocal run-on is very appreciated and appropriate only in overtone singing (throat singing). Tiny town of Tuva.

David Cook: Nerves for Hymn, or Heroes?

A minute ago a nice 6th grader sang the national anthem. Great favorite epic anthem. A song that is really a very long and profound question. Conjures a fall back glimpse of a dark, smoky and silent North-won battlefield; picture a young (Yankee) soldier saying those words, in a shallow trench, tired and dirty. Young soldiers leaning against one another. The soldier asks those words, of them…and of the night. The image in mind engenders heartache and shores up strong Land of Lincoln feelings for someone not always patriotic. A personal and private Civil War music video each time the hymn is heard. Thus, personally It is best sung by a 6th grader as it helps to conjure that image. DC helped to conjure that image. Watch it again. Note: a glimpse of authentic DC–deep down DC–that may not be seen again for some time. DC will be swilling the ale this evening (Boddington’s). That’s all DC will probably want to do. Nerves for hymn or heroes? Pick one.

Introducing DC’s Plethora: Narratives on Cook

The shareholders thing had an effect. Enlightenment: Time is nice. Spending this gift looking for DC plick is not quite right. Blogging about DC is better. It is recognized that the fueling, feeding, and frenzy (not quite) ought to contract. If one must extricate oneself from a mild (yeah, roight) preoccupation, how about just writing the stuff down? Get on with it. Get on with the time of my life. Writing will lead to freedom.